Poem Where the World Is Worth Living In
Everything’s growing in our garden / You don’t have to know that it’s haunted
—Phoebe Bridgers
in an alternate universe / i will see my someday / & i(t) will be a garden / & i(t) will be beautiful // i will stare / at ripples of my reflection / in floating / mirrors / only the uncut grass / will be able to find me / when i go missing // i will fill my bed with moss / soft enough it could make a cashmere commercial // i will search / first for dorothy / & find out how she got to Kansas / then look for my feet / wait for them to turn / technicolour red // the sun will wear sunglasses / so as to blind itself from / such a blind girl // which is to say i will not trust / anyone / not even the thing that wills / my sight // dying won’t exist in this garden / even though it’s natural / instead i will exist in this garden / but the only natural thing about me / will be the way i leave it // footprints so large / the devil thinks i’m big // foot even though i’m small / & describe myself as a rare form of human / being
Everything’s growing in our garden / You don’t have to know that it’s haunted
—Phoebe Bridgers
in an alternate universe / i will see my someday / & i(t) will be a garden / & i(t) will be beautiful // i will stare / at ripples of my reflection / in floating / mirrors / only the uncut grass / will be able to find me / when i go missing // i will fill my bed with moss / soft enough it could make a cashmere commercial // i will search / first for dorothy / & find out how she got to Kansas / then look for my feet / wait for them to turn / technicolour red // the sun will wear sunglasses / so as to blind itself from / such a blind girl // which is to say i will not trust / anyone / not even the thing that wills / my sight // dying won’t exist in this garden / even though it’s natural / instead i will exist in this garden / but the only natural thing about me / will be the way i leave it // footprints so large / the devil thinks i’m big // foot even though i’m small / & describe myself as a rare form of human / being
When the Numbers Fell Off the Clock Face
after “Unknown Caller” by U2
the arrows kept / spinning they were / more dizzy than / me so i / tried living among / other things that / made me give / up praying as / the numbers fell / as the days / shortened as 3:33 / became obsolete i / counted sheep i / lost count started / dreaming that there / were smartphones somewhere / in god’s sacred / holy text i’m / margaret in judy / blume’s book texting / god religiously is / he there is / he there if / i call will / he answer i / wondered if jesus / died at three / thirty three on / that cross that / goddamned cross my / spirit’s holy whenever / time disappears meaning / gravity always wins / meaning i’m not / everlasting i’m no / jeremiah but i / know god’s an / unknown caller & / when i pick / up he will / tell me great / unsearchable things i / don’t know such / as that time / exists & that / it is enough
after “Unknown Caller” by U2
the arrows kept / spinning they were / more dizzy than / me so i / tried living among / other things that / made me give / up praying as / the numbers fell / as the days / shortened as 3:33 / became obsolete i / counted sheep i / lost count started / dreaming that there / were smartphones somewhere / in god’s sacred / holy text i’m / margaret in judy / blume’s book texting / god religiously is / he there is / he there if / i call will / he answer i / wondered if jesus / died at three / thirty three on / that cross that / goddamned cross my / spirit’s holy whenever / time disappears meaning / gravity always wins / meaning i’m not / everlasting i’m no / jeremiah but i / know god’s an / unknown caller & / when i pick / up he will / tell me great / unsearchable things i / don’t know such / as that time / exists & that / it is enough
Ottavia Paluch is a disabled high school student from Ontario, Canada. A featured Gigantic Sequins Teen Sequin in 2018, her work is published in Kissing Dynamite, The Cerurove, Alexandria Quarterly, Ghost City Review, and Eunoia Review, among other places. She studied poetry under Jessica Lynn Suchon during the 2019 Adroit Journal Summer Mentorship Program, and is a poetry reader for Pidgeonholes. She cannot believe My Chemical Romance reunited.